🔗 Share this article This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Disappointments of the Past Year. As we consider the TV landscape of the past year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote. The 'Sex and the City' Sequel How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, painful character development (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it seemed as if it had finally hit its stride. Then came an installment all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator announced this would be the last season. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob? The Kim Kardashian Drama ‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’ But that was almost the smallest of this show's issues. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start listing the problems. The hilariously leaden writing? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The almost deliberate procession of cliches? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Let’s just say “all of the above” and never speak of this show again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re likely going to have to. The Charlie Sheen Documentary Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part docuseries which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this series might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charming but dismissive egotist. The Iris Affair Of course we knew it was ridiculous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of pure admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately hacking Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost. MobLand Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back. In truth, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the ignominy of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic. With Love, Meghan Given the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s temptingly easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised ventures into twee lifestyle as deliberate statements. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle catalogue come to life; a meme for evening drinks with delusions of grandeur; a parade of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh. The Beckham Documentary There are obviously interesting things to be said about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a sales brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series. The Game Show It had the potential to be the next big hit – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a well-known personality managing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too confusing to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up smelling of a programme that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it. The Lena Dunham Romcom How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was not enough. Plus, the abundance of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable. Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping Not good enough to be ‘patchy’. Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, hopes were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the viewpoint of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lurching from strangely jaunty, somewhat mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so. Prime Target We admire the star … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more farcical by the second. Silliness-by-numbers. 1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no interrogation of her notoriety whatsoever. And to think, the filmmaker has a teenage daughter too.